Thursday, 5 April 2012

Ten things I tell myself everyday.

Today I am a happy bunny!  I have been tagged, for the very first time for a meme!!!  I can't begin to tell you how good that makes me feel!  It really makes me feel like a valuable member of society, a feeling that has escaped me lately, as looking after Holly has turned me into a bit of a hermit.  I've been seriously lacking in adult stimulation/conversation.  So the fact that another ADULT wants to hear what I have to say is wonderful!  So who do I have to thank for this opportunity?  The fantastic Sonya of The Ramblings of a Formerly Rock 'n' Roll Mum.  If you haven't read her blog already, I strongly recommend you do so!  Not least of all because I'll hunt you down if you don't it is a cracking good blog!



My partner David actually refers to me as "Miss Pessimistic" sometimes!  It isn't that I'm a grump or that I view everything negatively...mainly just myself!  I put myself down...a lot.  I'm too fat, I'm not good enough at X, Y and Z. The only positive point I can take out of being a pessimist is that I'm rarely disappointed in life.  My theory is that if you expect the worst is going to happen you aren't going to be upset or surprised when it does, this also means that if things turn out better than you expected it is a wonderfully pleasant surprise!  It sounds like twisted logic, but it is just how my brain works!


Sugar and spice and all things nice...
The truly scrumptious Holly!

I look at her every day and cannot believe I made her, I honestly believe she is the most perfect thing I've ever seen in my life and every day she seems to be even more beautiful!  How can such perfection have come from me?  When I was pregnant I was obsessed with eating cake, any type of cake.  Which was odd as I'd never really like cake beforehand.  Chocolate, YES!  Cake, NO!  So David and I joke that the reason she is "truly scrumptious" (like in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang), is because she is made out of cake! 


It isn't that I believe this is true (or untrue), but I sometimes doubt myself.  I worry constantly about whether I am doing a good enough job.  Reading articles on sites like Babycentre does nothing to reassure me.  I worry about stimulating Holly enough.  Do I speak to her enough? Do I play enough games? Do I read to her enough?  Does she get enough tummy time?  As far as I can tell there are never enough hours in the day to fit in all the things I'm supposed to be doing!  If I miss out doing a single activity with her I feel guilty.  I was ill the other day and felt guilty for not being able to do more with her.  I felt like a bad mum.  So I repeat daily "I'm a good mum", because I know I always do the best I can even if I don't quite feel it!


The fact of the matter is this...I HAVE A PROBLEM!  I am a neat freak.  Everything needs to have a place, and everything needs to stay in that place.  If it doesn't work out that way I start to get edgy!  I think it is probably some kind of obsessive compulsive behaviour.  For example, if I know there are dishes to be done in the kitchen I can't leave them to sit, if I attempt to "chill out" and leave them a while I'll be fidgeting and sitting on my hands to stop myself getting up and doing them.  I constantly tell myself it is OK to have a little bit of disorder, but I'm having a hard time believing it.  I need to sort this before Holly starts to get mobile, as I know I'll never be able to keep up my obsessive cleaning and tidying once she hits a certain stage.  As it is I am run ragged trying to do everything while she naps.  Someone - HELP!


I've written about this before.  How I need to lose my baby bulge!  I will do it! I want to be a FABAROONY mummy, not a FLABAROONY mummy!  If you want to read more about that, check out this blog post.


I don't think I need to say much about this.  I have a beautiful baby girl, a great and loving partner and a roof over my head.  I'm a lucky lady.  Time goes by too quickly and before you know it life has passed you by.  Enjoy what you have while you have it.  My baby girl isn't going to be a baby for very long, I don't want to waste a second with her.


I've always had long hair, and currently it is down to the base of my back.  I have not had it cut since WELL before Holly was conceived.  I LOVE having long hair, but between Holly constantly tugging at it and the time it takes to wash and dry it...most days after my shower I generally end up leaving it unbrushed, sopping wet, scraped back from my face and wedged into a hair clip like some kind of crazy birds nest on the top of my head (it is 7pm now and as I type this I'm sporting that exact hairdo).  When I open the door to the post man most mornings he gives me some funny looks, I'm pretty sure it is the every day I look in the mirror and say I'm going to get my hair cut, but I never do because I chicken out.  I don't really want to cut it, but really I should for the sake of practicality!


I can't avoid it, I have stretch marks and they aren't going anywhere.  I resolved myself to the fact I'd get them before I became pregnant, but I still look at my tummy and can't help but think they are ugly sometimes.  On those days when I feel this way, I take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone. I try to think of them as a membership badge, or a badge of honour that shows I'm a  proud member of a very exclusive club - The Mummy Club.  And boy, did I work hard to get in!  It also helps to see other proud mummies bearing their stretch marks bravely for the world to see. I often visit a great website called The Shape of a Mother, where many a brave mummy has uploaded a few snaps of her post baby body, stretch marks and all. I hope I'll be brave enough and comfortable enough to do the day.


Now I've had a baby I often wonder this.  It also makes me wonder what I did with all my free time before Holly came along!  It seems now there are just not enough hours in the day.  I really wish there were more...maybe I could use them to get some extra sleep!


I used to have a great memory before having Holly.  Now I'm lucky if I can remember what day it is.  I constantly walk into rooms and forget what I went in to do or David will tell me something and half an hour later he'll start talking about it and I'll say,

"What?  You never told me about never tell me anything!"

Needless to say he is getting used to it now, and generally just gives me a funny look!  So these days I tend to write a lot of lists.  Which is fine by me...I've always loved writing lists. God, I'm such a saddo aren't I?

Well done, you've made it to the end!  Sorry, I tend to ramble a bit sometimes!  All that is left to do is thank all the lovelies who have already taken part in the meme for giving me the opportunity to be a part of this.  Now  I need to choose some victims participants to pass this on to....and the unlucky ladies are...

Elizabeth at Bumps 2 Babies


I hope they don't mind me tagging them, but these lovelies are great bloggers and I just know they will do a fantastic job!


Sonya Cisco said...

Fab! You do have a beautiful daughter gorgeous just like her mum! And sounds to me like you are a fab mum! Syd doesnt get half that attention- poor thing. My first got everything by the book, and I worried about everything , as third child Syd just has to get on with it sometimes!!! Am sure he will be fine anyway!
Weight gain and stretch marks are the price many of us pay for babies! If it's any consolation I only got stretch marks with my first and they are not that noticeable after a while! And have always lost the weight in the end- tho with number two he was at school by then Hahaha !!
Great post Hun-really enjoyed it xxx

Zena-Marie said...

Love your list. I tell myself No.4 all the time. Which would be okay except I don’t have anything remotely like OCD when it comes to housework :)

Lynn Fancy said...

Brilliant Lynn! I loved this list and yes agree with all 10! Number 10 especially! I think this MEME thing is such a brilliant idea and I have read such wonderful things and realise I am not alone and most if not all of us feel the same about most things, but feel so much pressure these days that we dare not say 'I can't cope' or 'I'm just knackered' or 'I don't want to give Patunia another organic lollipop here's a snickers!' .... We can all take a deep breath as we are doing OK....XXXX

Marilynn said...

Thanks for all the lovely comments ladies! It's good to know I'm not the only one who thinks some of these things! XXXX

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