This weekend we decided to have a little trip to the shops. I would never normally brave the shops at the weekend because I hate being pushed, shoved and poked out of the way by rude people who seem hell-bent on fighting there way to the socks you happen to be standing in front of. You know, as if it is a matter of life and death, or there may suddenly be a shortage of the damn things. Well you get the idea.
Luckily, because the weather just happened to be El Scorchio, the shops were surprisingly quiet. Everyone was out enjoying the sun. So we go into a shop, I take Holly's pram and push it around while daddy picks out clothes he likes. Then it is my turn to look while dad pushes the pram. Within about 5 seconds of this switch-over, Holly decides it is time to start the show. She has already been fed, changed and had a lovely long nap, but still the screaming and crying begins. We take her out of the pram and hold her. Nope, that doesn't work. We put her instead in the sling, still no joy. There is no soothing her. She is probably just cranky due to the heat having lived nearly her entire life so far in near sub zero temperatures (it is Scotland you know).
The looks have started already though. Other shoppers, walking by, staring, some shaking their heads, some tutting. Making faces as if to say...
"Can't you keep your baby quiet"
"Don't they know how to look after that baby?"
I am being silently judged by other people. I feel like an inadequate and bad mother. After all, what kind of mother brings a crying baby to the shops? Or can't soothe her crying baby? Me, apparently. Daddy says its fine and to keep shopping, she'll calm down eventually. I can't though, I'm too annoyed/upset and I abandon my shopping and leave the store. I hate being judged. I wasn't doing anything wrong was I? I certainly wasn't ignoring Holly's cries. Yet I am made to feel like shit by strangers. This is why I hate taking Holly out in public, for the most part she is good, but in the back of my mind there is always the fear she has a meltdown and it terrifies me. As a result I tend to do most of my shopping online to avoid such situations.
So my question is, if you had seen me and my crying baby, would you judge me? Would you act like I was ruining your day and make it so blatantly obvious that you thought I was doing a shit job? Or am I over-reacting? Should I just ignore these mean, ignorant people?