Are you a dummy dummy?

I thought long and hard about writing this post. Someone said something on Facebook the other day, which although I know is silly, really got under my skin. This is the direct quote as taken from Facebook.

"People kept telling me to give ma girl a dummie when she was born and am glad i didnt cos the wee one has went 6 months without. All she needs is loads of cuddles n kisses from mummy n daddy xx love our little munky to the moon n back."

Quickly followed by,

"kids dnt need them,a little tlc and they are sound haha dnt know if its cos i have a gd baby haha but nah ill never give her dummie havent even thought bout it haha xx"

This was also followed by comments stating that parents who use dummies are useless and neglectful and only use them to shut their kids up.


Firstly I'd like to say well done to my friend on not giving into pressure and giving her baby a dummy. I genuinely mean that. I'm really glad she could manage without. That said, there is no need to make any one else feel shitty for using one. She managed, in the space of a couple of sentences to make me feel like the shittiest parent in the world.


My main issue is how totally judgemental she is being. Not all parents have the same experience as her. I gave my daughter a dummy, and it was certainly not to shut her up. Before I gave her it I had been totally against the idea. So if you don't agree with the use of dummies either please take a moment to read my story below.


Our Dummy Story


Before H was born we had decided that she would NEVER be given a dummy. Not our precious girl, not EVER.

Fast forward to a few weeks after H was born. Our sleepy, contented peaceful baby was gone. Cue week after week, night after night of my poor little girl screaming from early evening until the early hours of the morning until falling into an exhausted sleep. Then waking every 45 minutes unhappily to start the process over again. H was in such distress, this was not normal baby crying. Her face was twisted in agony and bright red. There was practically nothing I could do. We tried everything. No amount of TLC, cuddles or singing helped. She was breastfed on demand, rocked, bounced.  We pushed her in the pram, we took her out on the car, propped her up, massaged her, bathed her. She mostly slept on my chest and even that didn't help. We tried so many things I can't even remember them all to list them here. We asked the doctor and HV repeatedly for help, nothing they suggested helped either. The final piece of advice we were given was this....


Some babies are just like that. You'll have to be patient. She'll probably grow out of it in about 5 months or so.


Yup, that was eventually what we were told.


My partner and I were just devastated for H, to see H so clearly in pain or distress was heartbreaking.


I can honestly say it was probably the worst thing I have ever had to deal with in my life. I would have sold my soul to the Devil if that would have taken away my baby's distress. People kept suggesting trying a dummy, but I was so against the idea that I wouldn't hear of it. I was barely coping. The fact that there was nothing I could do to help my baby made me feel like the worst parent in the world. I would cry continually whenever H wasn't in my arms ( I wouldn't do it in front of her in case she sensed my distress, although she probably still did). I wouldn't admit defeat. I wouldn't even let family members take H to give me a break as I felt I would be failing her. (Stupid I know).


Eventually after months, my partner and I sat down and agreed that a dummy was the only thing we hadn't tried.  We thought we may as well try one, as it probably wouldn't work anyway. We would finally try using a dummy but we agreed we would only use it when H was distressed.


So what do you think happened? She took to the dummy straight away. She was still distressed at times, but it seemed to have a much more calming effect. Her bouts of uncontrollable crying we're halved almost immediately.


Had I known that from the outset I would have not had the slightest hesitation to give her the dummy. Anything which would alleviate my darling child's suffering for even one single second has to be worth it. If I had the choice again, I wouldn't hesitate.


So where do I stand on dummies now?


If H had been a happy contented baby, I would still never have given her a dummy. If I had another child who was contended I wouldn't offer a dummy either.


However, if I had another poor little baby like H, I would definitely consider it as an option if nothing else seemed to work. If it would alleviate the distress of my child absolutely. Who would want to watch their child suffer if there was something they could do to prevent it?

I bet you are wondering if H still has her dummy at 10 months? Yes she does. We kept to our word though and only used it when she was in distress. She does not get a dummy during the day (and never did) at all (unless distressed due to illness). She doesn't miss it at all. She is a happy, smiling little girl who likes to be vocal so why would she need it? She does still get her dummy at nap time and bedtime, which she sucks until she falls asleep then spits out, so for about 5 mins really. We are hoping to phase that out very soon too though.


I would certainly never give a dummy to shut my child up, and I am utterly offended by the implication that I would.


Where do I stand now on the dummy habits of others?

How you choose to raise your child is your business. I may not agree with it, but I don't know your situation so I have no right to judge. If you want to give your baby a dummy so what? There are far worse things you could be doing to your child. If you and your family are healthy and happy, that is surely all that matters.


So what is your view? Is a dummy a sign of bad parenting? Was I wrong to give a dummy to my baby? I'd love to know what you think.

Review & Giveaway - Yoomi feeding system

I had heard about the Yoomi self warming bottle a few times in the past and have always wondered if it was as good as everyone said.  It did sound wonderful, a baby bottle which heats in 60 seconds to the perfect temperature, what's not to love?  So when I was offered the opportunity to try out the Yoomi feeding system I jumped at the chance!


The Yoomi feeding system includes :


The Yoomi bottle

The bottle on it's own is great.  The bottle is BPA free (which is reassuring to know), it is an anti colic design with 6 anti colic vents when standard anti colic bottles only have 4. The teats are super soft and breast shaped making them ideal for transitioning from breast to bottle, top up feeding or combined breast and bottle feeding.   Previously when we transitioned my daughter (7 months) from breast to bottle feeds she was very fussy about the teats and bottles she would feed from, but she took to the Yoomi bottle straight away when we tried it.

The Warmer

 

This nifty bit of kit is the bit that heats your bottle in just 60 secs at the touch of a button (its all very sci-fi)!  Great if you are out and about, meaning you don't have to miraculously find boiling water from somewhere! Nor do you need to constantly check the temp of the milk during warming as the warmer only heats the milk to a safe temperature (booby milk temp actually)!  Previously, in order to get the Yoomi warmer ready you had to heat it in a pan of boiling water or steam steriliser for 25 minutes.  I would imagine that this was a little bit of a drawback to the Yoomi system as doing this before every trip out seems somewhat time consuming.  However, the boffins over at Yoomi have come up with a beautifully simple time saving alternative to heating your warmer up - The Yoomi pod!

The Pod

The pod really is a super quick way to charge up your bottle warmer.  You just pop it in your microwave for 2 mins and you are ready to go.  Also, the pod can be used as a handy carry case.  I think you'll agree this is definitely a time saver!  We certainly found it quick and easy to use when getting ready to go out for the day.  Much easier than remembering to get ready 25 mins before you need to go out.  As a scatty mum I'd never have remembered to do it!  So the pod is ideal for me!


So what is my overall opinion of the Yoomi range?

I think Yoomi is a great invention.  It is easy and quick to use.  It is safe, with no need to faff about with boiling water thanks to the new Yoomi pod.  The bottle design is great for all babies.   It is not only great for out and about, but a quick way to heat up night feeds too.  Our whole family really like using our Yoomi.

Any drawbacks or negatives?

I only wish I'd had one earlier!

So if you'd tried the Yoomi range what do you think of it?  Or perhaps you'd like to try it out for yourself?


Well thanks to the lovely people at Yoomi you can!  All you need to do is enter the giveaway below and you could get your hands on a fab Yoomi feeding system for your family!

****ENTER THE FANTABULOUS YOOMI GIVEAWAY ****

a Rafflecopter giveaway






Disclosure: I was sent a Yoomi feeding system to review; all opinions are honest and my own

Coping with crying...

So lets face facts....If you have a baby, your baby will cry.  That is what babies do after all!

However, if you are very lucky you might have a baby who cries very little.  Lucky you!  Yet this simply isn't the case for all of us.

You may have a baby who is colicky, or simply goes through stages of crying.

Terrible, inconsolable crying, for hours on end.  Crying that no amount of  nursing, swaddling, rocking, singing, shushing or soothing will help.

Now if you have a baby like this, seeing their little face twisted in what looks like agony, purple, lips quivering and letting out the most unearthly scream you have ever heard, it is heart wrenching.  It is soul destroying and exhausting and probably feels like the worst moment of your entire life.

I've taken my daughter to the GP, the Health Visitor and even to A & E. We've tried gaviscon and multiple prescriptions but NOTHING has worked. In fact, I've been told by more than one doctor;

"Some babies are just like that. You just have to wait it out."

So I've held my own  daughter as she cried, after hours of trying to soothe her without success with tears of anguish rolling down my face.  I don't pretend to be an expert on this type of crying (my own daughter is only 7 weeks old), and I can't tell you any miracle solution to it either.  There is one thing I do know though, if you have tried everything you possibly can, sometimes your only option is to ride it out...Now if this is your only option, you need to find a way to make it more bearable for you.  So here it is, my way of coping with crying.  The things I tell myself to make it alright.  My coping with crying mantra.