Thursday, 7 February 2013

Honesty...Should I stay or should I go now?

So I've spent this last month debating continuing my blog or not.  I had decided to have a break from blogging in January anyway, but when I stopped blogging it set me to thinking about whether it was really worth carrying it on.

As it happens, I'm still undecided.  I think for now I'll keep the blog running but only until I make a definite decision. I think I need to reassess my reasons for blogging.

I have been feeling generally disheartened by my continually plummeting Tots100 score despite the fact that my stats are improving so much.  I know that the Tots rankings aren't based on that, but I feel as if all my work on the blog isn't worth it.  I'm all for promoting my blog, and I do so on Twitter but it seems that every week there is some other new thing I need to be doing to promote my blog.  I honestly feel that it takes away from the time it takes to write content.  I know many people manage it all effortlessly but I feel like Twitter is enough for me. Twitter is such a wide audience and with RT's and FF's you can end up with a huge audience.  I simply don't have time for Technorati, Klout and G+!

Being honest, besides that, I was feeling a little left out too.  Everyone is so excited to go to Britmums and I know I won't be going.  Twitter is full of the excited chatter of who was going to meet up, share rooms etc.  I felt like I was the kid at school who never got to go on the school trip.  Other bloggers would be meeting and forming bonds and I would be missing out.

I shouldn't complain. I know that.  It isn't that I can't afford to go, I just took the decision not to. The cost of return travel from Scotland, accommodation, the ticket and any other expenses by the time I got home would probably exceed £250 (that is a conservative estimate). I am certain I would have had a great time if I decided to go, but I can think of so many other things I could spend that money on.  For my daughter, for me, for our family. I would honestly feel very selfish and guilty spending that money on myself.  That's just me I suppose. 

For now though, I need to give myself a good talking to. Try and get out of this blogging funk I'm in. I've made my decision and I'm sticking to it. I'm sure everyone going to Britmums will have a fab time, and will have a great experience with so much to blog about. I look forward to reading all about it!

P.S -

Sorry about the self pitying drivel. I just needed to get it off my chest. Clearly I am an ass-basket of epic proportions.


Sonya Cisco said...

I hope you decide to stay- I love your blog xx

Jaqui Ball said...

I think you should stop worrying about the "traffic" and carry on blogging if you find it fun and fulfilling. If not, then stop - but wouldn't that be a pity when you have found your voice? My daily blog is a bit different from the others on mumsnet as I'm a retired grandmother rather than a mum so I probably miss out a bit on all the friendships formed between bloggers with lots in common. But I still love reading other people's blogs and I feel as if they help me understand, a little better, what it's like to be a mum (or dad) today.

Marilynn said...

Aww thank you. It is truly appreciated. Love yours too! *whispers* Don't tell anyone else but I think it's my favourite!

Marilynn said...

Thank you for the comment. I do think I would miss it if I stopped. Just need to sort myself out.

Anonymous said...

Hi Marilynn, I'm not going to BritMums either. In fact, although I've only been writing Mothering Mushroom for almost a year now, I have another blog that's been going since 2009 and I've never been to a meet up, nor have I met any of my followers in person (apart from those I already knew). Like you, I only use twitter for promotion as I don't have time for the other platforms you mentioned either. My advice? Don't worry about it. I'm hardly an expert but I've noticed my stats going up when I worry less about them or about what people think... That's just me, but could be food for thought... Also what are the reasons you started blogging? If any of those still apply, then don't stop. Sometimes an extended break is all you need to rediscover your mojo. Whatever it takes. I've just 'met' you but I like you, so I'm going to start following your blog to see what you decide to do next!

Marilynn said...

Thanks so much for the comment! I think I just over think things sometimes. I definitely didn't start blogging expecting my blog to become popular, just as a way to get things off my chest about being a new mum. I sometimes feel a bit as if the big blogging membership clubs can make it hard for newer (or any blogger) to be confident.I feel as if there is a lot of expectation about what each Blogger should do to be taken seriously or be successful. I have seen so many others out there so upset by these things too, some them did give up. Thanks so much for your support. I appreciate it. Will try to write something good for you to read for my next post!

Sian To said...

I know it's hard not to feel glum about your position on various ranking lists but I can hand on heart say we all go through those feelings in the early days. Try to focus on why you started to blog and how that made you feel... that's the important thing. x

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