Somebody I know is lying. It started slowly with little white lies, here and there.
I gave the benefit of the doubt. Tried to take them at face value, but that is hard to do when someone has more than one face.
The claims have grown bigger though, over time. Things don't add up. They have started tripping over those little white lies. They tripped and though they don't know it , I saw them fall.
Contradicting, forgetting where one lie ends and another begins. Still they don't stop. Just cover with bigger lies, until the white lies have changed colour and we are in an extremely grey area.
I am hurt by the lies. They are pointless and unnecessary. They are manipulating people's emotions. Although we are not the closest friends, I
Yet they lied in an attempt to gain affection and attention when there was no need. Though it seems the tide is turning. People are drawing away, perhaps sensing as I do, the deceit. Which only breeds more lies as the desperation grows.
I don't feel in a position to question, accuse or confront. I am conflicted. I am angry that this person doesn't trust me or the world enough to be themselves and know that is all they need to do to be liked.
I am angry at whatever the world has done to this person to make them feel that lying is the only way they can be accepted.
I am scared for them, as I don't want anyone to be hurt when their house of lies comes tumbling down.
I want to talk to them, but I know if I did we would never speak again. Our relationship would be irreparably damaged. Yet maybe it is already. I cannot believe a single word any more, though I try.
So do I simply stand by and watch as this person hurtles towards the inevitable and they are found out? It feels almost cruel, but didn't they bring it on themselves?
What would you do in my position?
2 comments:
I had a friend like this and in the end another friend of ours and I took her out for a drink (we were really close though- like best friends) and said to her 'look, we don't know what's happened, but you seem to be getting yourself in a bit of a stick and people are starting to notice. Nobody is angry, we just want to understand why and what we can do to help.' She was defensive for a while, but when she realised what she was potentially losing from everybody she actually opened up to us. It turned out she'd started to believe some of the lies she was telling and was finding it difficult to differentiate between fiction and reality. It had started because she felt competitive toward some people she worked with and it had escalated.
She went to see her GP and is now absolutely fine- I don't know what I would do if I wasn't as close to her as I had been- probably turned a blind eye, but in this instance she really needed somebody to talk to.
I hope she's able to find some resolution before it inevitably blow up in her face :) xx
If you believe that they are a nice person who has lost their way try and help, if they are just manipulative perhaps they need to learn a lesson! Tricky one!
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